June 29, 2011 I Could Sell These.....

Pink Champagne cupcakes.

Oh. Yes. They. Are.

Found the recipe on the Betty Crocker website. I know, I know, what the hell was I doing on the Betty Crocker website?

I whipped up a batch this evening and here's what is crazy (one of the many things that makes this house Crazytown Central): I don't eat sweets and Luke doesn't eat sweets. So, basically I baked 2 dozen Pink Champagne cupcakes for Curtis. And Buddy.

There were 2 dozen on the counter.

I went to the garage to get my Tupperware containers.

There were 23 cupcakes on the counter.

Buddy was licking the floor.

Busted.

Anyway, I did sample one cupcake and it was good. The champagne flavor was subtle. I put sugar crystals on the frosting and they are really pretty. I think they'd be great for a wedding.

When I open my b and b across the street from Wamego High School, I plan to also open a cupcake bakery.

Could it be that I have watched one too many episodes of "Cupcake Wars" and "D.C. Cupcakes"?

Yes.

June 28, 2011 Elmira Gultch's Bicycle

Oh how I wish I had a soundtrack for today's post! When I saw this bike, the song from the "Wizard of Oz" started playing in my head.

You know the one I mean, the one where that crazy bitch Elmira is riding along to the Gale's house to pick up poor Toto who didn't mean to bite her.

She's pedalling to beat hell. She's on a mission to get that damn dog.

I know this basket doesn't have a lid, but, as you know, the lid on Elmira's basket didn't do any good. Toto jumped out and ran back to Dorothy.

Can I say at this point, that I love, love, love the "Wizard of Oz"? Not as much as "Wicked", but I love it nonetheless.

It made me laugh that I was thinking about all this before I noticed that the bike is a 10 speed! Can't you just see Miss Gultch on a freakin' 10 speed?

This cracked me up. As so many things do.

June 27, 2011 Not Western Kansas Wheat

When I was growing up in Dodge City, wheat harvest was a big deal. Even for city girls like me.

In high school, the highlight of the summer was when the custom cutters ("wheaties", we called them) were in town. They were so hot. Hotties. Cue. Tee. Pies.

My recollection of the actual wheat is that it was tall. Tall-ish. Certainly not tall like corn, but taller than the wheat I saw on my way home from work tonight.

This wheat is short. Puny. Miniature.

It's beautiful and it's being harvested. But it's short.

It would be laughed at in Dodge City!

June 26, 2011 Food Network Magazine Recipe Success!

One would think that after nearly 6 months (SIX MONTHS!!) of posting a picture a day, I'd think ahead. Sometimes. Occasionally. Maybe.

Alas. Not again tonight.

Tonight I tried a recipe from the Food Network Magazine (Thanks, Kimber!) for a cheeseburger called a "Juicy Lucy" (pause for bad jokes with strong sexual overtones).

Basically you take a piece of American cheese and fold it into fourths. Then you put it in between 2 thin hamburger patties. Then you grill/fry them. Then you eat them and make happy noises.

If you look closely at the photo you can see that there are grease stains on the page. That's because CB, outdoor griller that he is, wanted to cook these wonder burgers on the grill. On the other hand, I, ruler follower that I am (oh come on, now, I follow rules when it comes to recipes) wanted to cook them on the stove.

In the spirit of what makes our marriage work, we compromised. I cooked 2 inside and CB cooked 4 outside.

They were all great.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I browned some onions in a cast iron skillet, then I fried the burgers. Oh, momma. The smell was indescribable. It was so good, it brought Luke to the kitchen wondering when supper would be done.


The Juicy Lucy with onions has earned a place in my recipe file.

It's in very, very good company.

June 25, 2011 Part Two: The Family Outing

Since today had the potential of being a really bad day and turned out to be not a bad day at all, Luke and I asked CB if we could all go play golf.

Golf? More golf? Why certainly!!


The white dot is my golf ball. The rest of my shots weren't much better. Therefore, I spent much of the evening driving the cart and drinking. (Look, CB came out of the clubhouse with a vodka and cranberry juice, what was I supposed to do? Dump it out? Don't be silly.)



Look carefully. This is wild marijuana. Probably shouldn't pick it, dry it and smoke it because it looks like it's been sprayed with some kind of weed killer. Weed killer, get it? (Wonder if it works on poison ivy?)

I lost most of the balls I hit. I laughed at Luke more than once. He laughed at me non-stop. CB tried to pretend that he didn't know either one of us.

It was a great time all around.

June 25, 2011 One More Reason I Love Luke

For the past week or so, our washing machine was making a very funny noise. Not the kind of noise that makes you laugh, but the kind of noise that makes you think "Shit. I am going to have to buy a new washer."

Today, I was doing the laundry (it's true) and on the very last load, the washing machine threw in the towel (Oh - that's very nearly a laundry joke, isn't it?) and gave up. Just stopped. Dead. Ka-poot.

I broke the news to CB since, when we got married, we sold my washer and dryer and kept his. He figured that he bought the washer for $400 nearly 20 years ago, he'd gotten his money's worth.

We looked at each other and nearly simultaneously said "Let's get Luke's!". Luke's washer and dryer are in our basement. Well, the washer isn't in the basement anymore!

Luke and CB toted the old one to the garage and hooked up the new one.

Sorry there aren't pictures of all that excitement, but, honestly, it was hot and I was trying to stay out of the way.

Our laundry room isn't big enough for all 3 of us even without the sweat.

June 24, 2011 The PI Battle

According to this picture, I am clearly winning the Barr vs. Poison Ivy battle, wouldn't you agree? Death and destruction, just like I wanted.

But, if you look a little bit closer, you see this:

Bright and green. Barely wilted.

Three leaves.

Damn poison ivy.

But, let it be known, it's not over.

Not by a long shot.

June 23, 2011 World War II Memorial

Every now and then, K State gets it right. Like when they hired me.

And when they commissioned this WWII memorial.

It's just north of McCain Auditorium and looks like a set of dog tags.

The tags themselves are mirror like and the chain defies gravity. The flag in this picture is a reflection of the flag that flies nearby.

Inside the memorial are bits of soil from military cemeteries such as Arlington National Cemetery, Fort Dodge, Fort Leavenworth, Fort Riley.

One plaque tells about the quiet dignity of the WWII soldier. The other three read "By Land", "By Air", "By Sea".

It's a poignant memorial to the Greatest Generation.

And I'm glad it's at Kansas State University.

Just like me.

June 22, 2011 He's MY President

Today I got what will undoubtedly be the first of a long line of emails asking me to donate money to the President's re-election fund.

"Obama 2012" has a nice ring to it, don't you agree?

But, as I reflected back over the last 2+ years, I found myself wondering if we, the Prez and I, had experienced more disappointments than successes.

Then, tonight, the President addressed the nation. He addressed me. And I am once again inspired. His vision for our nation resonates with me.

And he's bringing troops home from Bush's war. That no good, war mongering, alcoholic son of a bitch.

So, after he God blessed the nation and his fellow Americans, I went online and made a donation.

That person in the "Obama 2012" shirt? That will be me.

Yep. That will be me.

June 21, 2011 My Dream

This bed and breakfast on the main street of Wamego, is for sale. I want to buy it.

I want to own a bed and breakfast.

Plan golf trips, shopping trips, meals in the gazebo, entertain visitors from far off lands.

It's my understanding that right now each room in this b and b has a military theme. You totally know that I'd have to redo each room. Maybe Great Liberals? Great Decades? (the 1960s room would come with it's own marijuana) Holidays? Novels? Oh, the ideas are endless.

My other idea is to make the space available for parties. With alcohol. Cheap.

I am on my way to being the next Grand Marshall of the 4th of July Parade!

Except that I'm not actually buying the b and b.

That's why it's a dream.

June 20, 2011 Poison Ivy Scorecard

Something beautiful is happening in the backyard that does not involve dying plants.

The Easter lilies from Priya and Louise (planted about 7 years ago) are in full bloom. Aren't they wonderful? Those girls left 2 constant reminders: they wrote "Good Morning Mom and Dad" on the white board in the kitchen and it is still there and these Easter lilies.

If you were a poison ivy plant or a bit of wild grapevine, would you be sorry that you picked my backyard right about now?

I saw a few leaves that don't seem to be appropriately withered, so I may go out and spray again tonight. Don't want those damn plants to rally. But, maybe they are like the Royals, and don't have a good rally in them.

My heart will sing when I can post a picture of a row of brown, dead, dried up vegetation.

And it won't be the US Supreme Court.

June 19, 2011 Barrs vs. Poison Ivy. Round 1

As you know, CB and I are both allergic to poison ivy. CB gets it by looking at a picture.

We discovered PI in a retaining wall next to our lower deck. It is entwined in the wild grapevine that WILL NOT DIE and grows along the wall right next to our peonies and tulips. When we planted the tulips, we didn't know PI was there.

Anyway, we got some "this will kill poison ivy and make it wish it had never been born and nothing, I repeat, NOTHING will ever grow in this area again for all eternity, it will kill PI down to the root, the ROOT, I say" poison to spray all along the wall.

I was spraying away and CB was cutting the peonies off. Okay, okay, he did more than just cut off the peonies. The boy does not work up this kind of sweat by trimming a couple of bushes. Well, he does, but we're not going to talk about how.

Ahem.

Anyway, after we were done, and home from the dump, we both got out the Dawn dish washing detergent and scrubbed up just in case any PI juice got on us.

I will post pictures of the death and destruction that is the former PI patch. Can I just say, however, that I feel a bit like Bill Murray in "Caddyshack"? Chasing that prairie dog? I think the poison ivy will be in my backyard long after I'm gone.

But, it's going to have a tough life.

June 18, 2011 After the Fact

It was an amazing evening. Cool. Not much, if any, wind. The big elm (oak? maple?) tree shading the upper deck.

We decided to eat outside for the first time this year. CB cooked supper on the grill - his specialty: steaks, baked potatoes, corn on the cob.

I set the table and it looked so festive (that's my inner Martha Stewart showing). We even used cloth napkins.

CB had a bone for Buddy, so he joined us. (Luke was out of town, so don't go feeling sorry for him, thinking that he was locked in his room eating oatmeal. He wasn't.)

While we were eating, CB said he heard something in the neighbor's herb garden which is on the south side of their house and directly below our deck. He kept hearing it but didn't know what it was. Buddy heard something too and he didn't know what it was either.

After spending the last week next to Gator Creek, I only knew what it wasn't.

June 17, 2011 Vacation Day 6

While driving home from Kansas City, I saw this sunbeam in the distance. It made me feel somehow guided.

It was good to be home.

June 16, 2011 Vacation Day 5

I brought everyone a K State tee shirt. Kimber graduated from K State so it's only right that her daughters dress accordingly. Most important thing about this picture is that we are all still smiling!

We went to the beach about 10:00 a.m. and stayed all day! Kimber walked back to the condo and brought snacks and drinks back to us. I know this picture makes it look overcast and gray but it really wasn't.

The ocean was shallow; just right for the girls to boogie board and wave surf. The sand was perfect for castles and make believe. The beach was without shells, at least by the time we got there.

The sand was packed enough that people were riding their bikes along the ocean's edge.

It was the best day ever.

June 15, 2011 Vacation Day 4

I found myself spending a lot, A LOT, of time at the pool. There is nothing like lying in the sun, feeling the heat, jumping in the pool to cool off and having Grace bring lunch to eat poolside! What a wonderful treat.

About 2:00 this wonderful thunderstorm rolled through. Grace and I sat on the patio roof offered no protection against the splashing rain. I think the gutters need to be cleaned out!

It was awesome to watch the rain come down and listen to the thunder. I'm not sure my southern roommates liked it as much as I did!

June 14, 2011 Vacation Day 3

There is only one drawback to Hilton Head Island, but it's a big one.

Alligators.

The streak in the lower middle of the pond is a baby alligator. There is nothing between me and him except the car door.

The little alligators grow into big alligators.

Big alligators have the right of way.

At the top, out of the picture, are some house whose backyards slope into this pond. THE POND WITH ALLIGATORS IN IT.

Alligators. In the pond. In the backyard.

Shit.

June 13, 2011 Vacation Day 2

Lovely ladies ready for a wedding. A Royal Wedding.

Tonight we all designed and made hats suitable to wear to a royal wedding.

Kimber's daughters (my nieces now, apparently) were totally into this activity. Grace, 12, (right)has an eye for fashion. Don't you think she looks like something out of "My Fair Lady"? Particularly the Ascot scene.

Emma, 6, was like a kid in a candy store. Everything she saw, she wanted on her hat! She decided on flowers and ribbon and a full brim.

I do not know why Kimber and I decided to wear our sunglasses; seems like we thought we would look more sophisticated. We missed that boat.

Now, someone needs to get married!

June 12, 2011 Vacation Day 1

Kimber, just as I remember her!

We spent the afternoon in and around Savannah. Here's the fountain in Forsythia Park. You would not believe that this peaceful park was in a large city.

It was Sunday afternoon and the livin' was easy. No lines, little traffic, few tourists.

I started the day by finding a $5 bill on the sidewalk outside the hotel at 5:00 a.m. Pretty good start, I'd say!

June 11, 2011 Love is in the Air!

Today Tanner and Kassie Banion got married. I was seated a couple of rows behind Tanner's grandparents.

As Tanner and Kassie took their vows, Tanner's Grandmother reached out and took her husband's hand. It was so sweet that I had to have a picture of it to send to Tanner.

In a manner that is usually reserved for Seal Team 6 members, I got my camera out of my purse (while standing up, listening to the priest, being respectful) and snapped this picture.

It was worth the looks and frowns that rogue photographers often get.

Here's to hand holding. Always.

June 10, 2011 Memories

Six years ago, our "daughters", Priya and Louise gave us an Easter lily. I planted it and, I'm ashamed to say, have ignored it since.

Today I while surveying the estate I noticed that the lily has 3 buds AND another lily plant has sprung up along side! The baby plant has 2 buds!

I thought of my daughters and how much fun they had hunting Easter eggs and whipping up some desserts from back home in England.

They were full of laughter and smiles and surprises. When asked to dust the living room in anticipation of company, they removed all the books from the bookcases, dusted them, dusted the shelves and returned the books to slightly more organized locations.

Hasn't happened since.

And won't.

Love you, Lou-Lou Belle and my little brown gull.

*****VACATION NOTICE: I'm leaving for Kansas City tomorrow to attend a wedding. On Sunday morning, I head to Hilton Head with Kimber. Follow that story at www.hiltonhead2011.blogspot.com. I'll try to up date this blog as well. Rest assured, I'll be taking a picture a day and will post as soon as I get home, if not before.

June 10, 2011 Harley Momma

My dad was a lawyer. Several of the rules in our house arose out of his experiences as an attorney. For example, we would walk to school every morning. I thought it was cool to step off the curb and take a few steps into the street as a car was coming, then when the car passed, I'd be well on my way. He told me not to do that. Not because it wasn't safe. I shouldn't do it because if the car hit me, I'd have a better lawsuit if I was standing on the curb when I was hit rather than in the street.

But, the BIG rule, was: NO MOTORCYClES. EVER. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. EVER. NOPE. DON'T EVEN LOOK AT ONE. DON'T TOUCH ONE. AND DON'T EVER, EVER, EVER GET ON ONE. EVEN PARKED. NO. DO. NOT. DO. IT. I MEAN IT.

Breaking this commandment was a groundable offense. There was no justification for ever being on a motorcycle. And a motorcycle was defined as anything with 2 wheels and a motor.

I was in about 8th grade and a friend and I were at the bowling alley. (Probably eating, since bowling was never quite my thing) A guy I sort of liked came by on a little motorbike. He stopped and we talked. HE SHUT THE MOTORCYCLE OFF. IT WAS NOT RUNNING. THE ENGINE WAS OFF. I SWEAR.

I asked him if I could sit on the motorcycle. What harm could there be in that?

A lot, as it turned out.

He forgot to tell me about the heat of the tailpipe. I didn't know about the heat of the tailpipe. I fried the inside of my leg. The burn was about the size of 2 side by side half dollars. The pain was indescribable. The first thing my friend said? "Your dad is going to kill you!" Kill? Not likely. Ground me? Most certainly. It was summer, the pool was calling. I'd rather be killed.

I shouldn't have worried about the pool, I couldn't get that massive burn wet for weeks. Well, it seemed like weeks, anyway. Still have the scar. Still remember telling my dad what happened. He didn't care that the motorcycle was off. A rule was a rule and if I'd sit on a motorcycle with the engine off, then it's a slipperly slope to buying a Harley and riding off into the sunset.

Oh, I've been a passenger on a motorcycle since I've become an adult (pause for laughter). Less than 5 times. Scared to death each time. Scared to death that my dad would find out and ground me.

I've never been the driver - - until last night. I climbed on this bad boy and took off.

I was pretty good on the straight aways, but I never did master turning corners. Just ask the lady whose yard I drove through. And stopping was a bit of an issue. Did you know that you can't just put your feet down? You have to use the hand brakes? And back off the throttle? Who can think to do all those things?

Especially when all you can hear is your dad's voice saying "Sarah, you're grounded."

June 8, 2011 What was I Thinking?

I am going to a wedding on Saturday and there is every chance I am going to wear sandals.

I thought I should paint my toenails pink to match the shirt and sweater I'll be wearing.

Not sure that was a good choice.

What I have done is yelled out "Please, look at my sausage toes with crazy nails! And take special note of my bunion!"

Ten bright pink dots tend to do that!

Between now and Saturday I will do one of two things: either find shoes with toes OR go with toenails that don't glow in the dark.

This is why it is good that I don't have a daughter. She would have been beat up regularly on the play ground!

June 7, 2011 My iPod is Confusing

You have to love my iPod. You just have to.

I have a list of songs that I walk to ("workout" is not really the work I should use. But I sweat and smell when I'm done, so maybe "workout" IS the right word) and I was looking at the list today.

I laughed at myself. (Right. Like that ever happens.)

The playlist "Workout songs" is about 15 songs long. Here are 6 of those songs:

"Word Up": an old Jazzercise song from the early 80s. Makes me want to put on my unitard and leg warmers and work it 'til it burns. (Oh yes, I did have a unitard. And I have a picture of me in a leopard skin print unitard. Yes. I. Do. Enough alcohol and I may even post it someday.)

"Born This Way": I love Lady GaGa (Gaga? Ga Ga?) and I do believe we were born this way. Or whatever way.

"Poker Face": More Lady GaGa.

"Bad Romance": More Lady GaGa.

"Follow Me": Another old song. "You swim my veins like a fish in the sea."

"Push": ARETHA FRANKLIN ROCKS. ROCKS, I TELL YOU!!!!

If I am ever abducted by aliens and they look at my iPod, they'll be very confused about music or at least about my taste in music!

You should also know that 80% of the stuff on my iPod is podcasts from NPR or podcasts by Ricky Gervais. That will cause the aliens to send me back.

Forthwith.

June 6, 2011 D Day

True story: as a kid, I walked to school every day. Four times, actually. To school in the morning. Home for lunch. Back to school. Home in the afternoon.

We figured one time that we were about 1 block short of the distance being a mile.

In the morning, Dad would walk with us. That was way cool. I remember talking to him and asking all kinds of questions. He was really, really smart.

My walks to school would have started in about 1963. Not quite 20 years after D Day. It was still a reasonably fresh memory.

Dad arrived in Normandy by glider in the early morning hours of June 6. As part of the elite 82nd Airborne Division, he helped to liberate the town of St. Mere Eglise, the first town liberated in France on D Day. Like most WWII vets, he didn't brag about his service. He did the job he was told to do, came home, went to college, etc. etc. However, because of serious war injuries (broken back, broken legs, broken hip), Dad always had a bit of WWII with him.

Anyway, as we would walk, I would complain that I was: 1) tired, 2) bored, 3) tired, 4) no one else had to walk to school, 5) tired and 6) why did I have to go to school anyway? Dad would tell me that when he was just a little older than I was (12 years to be exact) he was fighting the Germans and did I think he ever got tired? Or bored? And he had to carry a backpack that weighed 400 pounds and sometimes he would carry his buddy's because his buddy lost both his legs and his arms and had to pull himself along by his chin. Did I think his buddy ever complained?

So, today was hot. But, in honor of my dad and his armless, legless buddy, I did not complain. Could be because I was in my air conditioned car. But, it could be because I learned my lesson while walking to school with my dad.

Not likely.

This story is even better when I would complain about being cold, then I got the Battle of the Bulge version.

June 5, 2011 Niagara Falls - sort of

One of my favorite things to do (and keep in mind that I live in a small town. A very small town.) is to go to Tuttle Creek Lake when they are letting water out and the "tubes are running". The water rushes violently through the tubes under the damn into the spillway.

There's a roar that must be like a big waterfall. The water splashes up the concrete walls over 10 feet.

Tonight, both sides of the tubes were running which I have never seen. Thousands of gallons of water per second were pouring out of the lake.

When we have a big rain (which we have), you can count on lots of activity at the lake.

After watching for about 5 minutes, I turned to CB and said "I have to go to the bathroom."

The power of running water, right?

June 4, 2011 Damn It. No Picture of What's Really Important!

I had the best day today!

I went to Topeka, shopping with a friend, who must remain nameless because she told me she's going to have a baby! And it's her story to tell, not mine (oh right, like that's ever stopped me before, I know.) so I don't want to tell it here until she says DO IT!!!!

We both bought things we didn't need and things we did. Ate a huge lunch. Laughed. Cried. It was a perfect outing.

I bought a sports bra off the rack (did you hear that? OFF THE RACK!!!) - no pun intended. I haven't been able to that, even after my breast surgery. It was a great day!

When I got home there was no sun on the deck for me to sit in, so I took a nap.

CB and I went to see "Bridesmaids". I have 3 words: Hi. Lair. Eee. Ous. Guess that's 4 words. Bad language. Poop jokes. Puking. Puppies. Funny sex. All the makings of a great movie, right there. Even CB laughed. We laughed as we were leaving the theatre. We laughed on the way home. And, it's true, I woke him up to tell him something funny I remembered. (I am such a joy to be married to. I mean that.)

Here's the picture of the day. I love Winnie the Pooh. I can sing many of his songs, such as "I'm Just a Little Black Rain Cloud", "I'm Winnie the Pooh" and "A Tiggers a Wonderful Thing". I am available for weddings, funerals and bar mitzvahs for a reasonable fee.

June 3, 2011 Translating Chinese

CB's fortune cookie at supper tonight said "Now if the time for peace in your life. Go along with other's ideas."

I was more than happy to translate this for him.

"Now is the time to listen to what your wife wants to do in every circumstance. For when you do that, it is likely she will shut up and there will be peace."

He was grateful for my translation services.

Happy to do it.

June 2, 2011 Noah on Speed Dial

Lots of rain last night.

Over 3 inches in the rain gauge this morning.

Floods. Flooding. Flooded.

This is the Kansas River in Wamego.

My house is probably at the highest point in town.

I will not, therefore, be building an ark.

I may, however, start blowing up the inflatable rafts.

Like keeping a condom in your wallet, you can't be too careful.

June 1, 2011 Hale Library

First of all, this begins the sixth month of my blog. Did you hear that? The sixth month!!!! I've done something for 6 months. Without quitting. Just like being pregnant. But without the sex. Trust me. With. Out. The. Sex.

I had a meeting in Eisenhower Hall at 3:00 this afternoon. While I was walking there, the sky was really dark. Not like in the picture where it looks pretty and blue!

The sky was so dark that the lights were on outside of Hale Library. Even though it was going to cut loose raining any minute, I stopped and took a picture.

True story, as I was leaving the meeting, I was on the phone with CB. We were laughing about me getting lost the last time (last week) I walked from Eisenhower to the Union. I'll be go to hell if I didn't do it again. I was just talking away and all of sudden I said "SHIT! I took a wrong turn. Where the hell am I?" CB was laughing his ass off.

Instead of wandering in the wilderness, I turned around, found the turn I missed and arrived at the parking garage safe and sound.

(For those of you keeping track, it was after 5 and I didn't have to go back to my office.)