August 31, 2011 FOR GIRLS ONLY. I MEAN IT. SERIOUSLY. ONLY FOR GIRLS.

Fact: I am 54 years old. FIFTY FRICKIN' YEARS OLD.

Fact: I been having periods for more years than I care to remember. Had I realized this fact AND had any disposable income when I was 12, I would have bought stock in Kotex.

Fact: My periods were always regular, ever;y 28 days AND on every anniversary and every, single out of town trip, I was having a period, regardless of the amount of day counting or pre-planning. I was just special that way!

Fact: On November 18, 1981, I was done having babies. Completely done. No more babies. All done. Thankyouverymuch.

Fact: I have not had a period for the last six months. That's right. The last SIX months. Could it be? Is it possible? Was I finally, finally done with this bullshit?


Fact: No. It was not possible. I was not done with this bullshit. At. All.

Fact: I have, for the past 2 days, been experiencing the mother of all periods. In fact, I checked behind me as I walked to my car tonight after work to make sure that my uterus was not dragging on the ground behind me.

Fact: It wasn't.

Fact: Just thought you'd like to know.

Fact: You're welcome.