August 27, 2011 New "Kids"

This year, I am a mentor to 3 freshmen at Kansas State. Two of them, Nicki and Haley, came over for supper tonight. (The third one lives at home in Clay Center. She was invited but didn't want to drive all the way to Wamego for dinner. She's clearly never eaten at my table, has she?)

Nicki is from the Chicago area and tomorrow is her 18th birthday. It wouldn't be a birthday without a cake and candles, would it?
I made whole barbecued chickens on the grill. I've never done that before but they were really easy and tasted really good. I just put them on the grill with indirect heat for 2 hours. Then I brushed them with BBQ sauce for about 15 additional minutes. Yummy.

The girls left in time to get back to Manhattan before dark - and it's their first weekend at college, so there are things to do, people to see.

My mom joined us for the evening which was fun. She is always good for a couple of laughs and tonight was no exception.

Laugh #1: She says there is a frog in her house. Seriously. She saw it in the corner and put a basket over it and a bottle of mouthwash on top of the basket. But, she said she was tired, so she left the actual frog disposal until morning. When morning came, she scooted the basket to the front door. Imagine this: my 82 year old mother holding the storm door open, grabbing the basket and tossing it onto the front porch. But, wait! What's this? There is no frog? NO FROG? WTF? Where is the damn frog? The frog is gone. It is still in her house. She swears. I think she's gone around the bend.

Laugh #2: For some reason, she started talking about gangs when she was a kid. Keep in mind that when she was a kid it was in the 30s and "gang" maybe didn't mean exactly what it means today. I asked her if she was in a gang, knowing that the answer had to be no. This is my mom we're talking about her. Well, little did I know.....in high school she was a member of the Dainty Dozen "gang". The Dainty Dozen hung with 12 guys who were known as the Dirty Dozen.

My mother. A gang member. Of a gang with the word "dainty" in the title. Oh. My. God.

We didn't even ask what kind of gang activities they engaged in. Just learning of my mothers' sordid past was enough for one night.

Laugh #3: When she got ready to leave, I was making fun of her "monkey purse". Many, many years ago, Mom got this little change purse as a gag gift. It was clear it was a joke. But, the joke was on me, because she has used it ever since!

Tonight she had it on her arm and I said "Queen Elizabeth, whacha got in your purse there, the keys to the castle?" She opened it up and pulled out her "wallet": her driver's license and about 5 credit cards held together with a rubber band! That did me in.

Clearly, Luke is wondering what his grandmother is going to say or do next.

Aren't we all.

Stay tuned for the next chapter of "There's a Frog in My House that a Basket Can't Hold".