June 7, 2011 My iPod is Confusing

You have to love my iPod. You just have to.

I have a list of songs that I walk to ("workout" is not really the work I should use. But I sweat and smell when I'm done, so maybe "workout" IS the right word) and I was looking at the list today.

I laughed at myself. (Right. Like that ever happens.)

The playlist "Workout songs" is about 15 songs long. Here are 6 of those songs:

"Word Up": an old Jazzercise song from the early 80s. Makes me want to put on my unitard and leg warmers and work it 'til it burns. (Oh yes, I did have a unitard. And I have a picture of me in a leopard skin print unitard. Yes. I. Do. Enough alcohol and I may even post it someday.)

"Born This Way": I love Lady GaGa (Gaga? Ga Ga?) and I do believe we were born this way. Or whatever way.

"Poker Face": More Lady GaGa.

"Bad Romance": More Lady GaGa.

"Follow Me": Another old song. "You swim my veins like a fish in the sea."

"Push": ARETHA FRANKLIN ROCKS. ROCKS, I TELL YOU!!!!

If I am ever abducted by aliens and they look at my iPod, they'll be very confused about music or at least about my taste in music!

You should also know that 80% of the stuff on my iPod is podcasts from NPR or podcasts by Ricky Gervais. That will cause the aliens to send me back.

Forthwith.

June 6, 2011 D Day

True story: as a kid, I walked to school every day. Four times, actually. To school in the morning. Home for lunch. Back to school. Home in the afternoon.

We figured one time that we were about 1 block short of the distance being a mile.

In the morning, Dad would walk with us. That was way cool. I remember talking to him and asking all kinds of questions. He was really, really smart.

My walks to school would have started in about 1963. Not quite 20 years after D Day. It was still a reasonably fresh memory.

Dad arrived in Normandy by glider in the early morning hours of June 6. As part of the elite 82nd Airborne Division, he helped to liberate the town of St. Mere Eglise, the first town liberated in France on D Day. Like most WWII vets, he didn't brag about his service. He did the job he was told to do, came home, went to college, etc. etc. However, because of serious war injuries (broken back, broken legs, broken hip), Dad always had a bit of WWII with him.

Anyway, as we would walk, I would complain that I was: 1) tired, 2) bored, 3) tired, 4) no one else had to walk to school, 5) tired and 6) why did I have to go to school anyway? Dad would tell me that when he was just a little older than I was (12 years to be exact) he was fighting the Germans and did I think he ever got tired? Or bored? And he had to carry a backpack that weighed 400 pounds and sometimes he would carry his buddy's because his buddy lost both his legs and his arms and had to pull himself along by his chin. Did I think his buddy ever complained?

So, today was hot. But, in honor of my dad and his armless, legless buddy, I did not complain. Could be because I was in my air conditioned car. But, it could be because I learned my lesson while walking to school with my dad.

Not likely.

This story is even better when I would complain about being cold, then I got the Battle of the Bulge version.

June 5, 2011 Niagara Falls - sort of

One of my favorite things to do (and keep in mind that I live in a small town. A very small town.) is to go to Tuttle Creek Lake when they are letting water out and the "tubes are running". The water rushes violently through the tubes under the damn into the spillway.

There's a roar that must be like a big waterfall. The water splashes up the concrete walls over 10 feet.

Tonight, both sides of the tubes were running which I have never seen. Thousands of gallons of water per second were pouring out of the lake.

When we have a big rain (which we have), you can count on lots of activity at the lake.

After watching for about 5 minutes, I turned to CB and said "I have to go to the bathroom."

The power of running water, right?

June 4, 2011 Damn It. No Picture of What's Really Important!

I had the best day today!

I went to Topeka, shopping with a friend, who must remain nameless because she told me she's going to have a baby! And it's her story to tell, not mine (oh right, like that's ever stopped me before, I know.) so I don't want to tell it here until she says DO IT!!!!

We both bought things we didn't need and things we did. Ate a huge lunch. Laughed. Cried. It was a perfect outing.

I bought a sports bra off the rack (did you hear that? OFF THE RACK!!!) - no pun intended. I haven't been able to that, even after my breast surgery. It was a great day!

When I got home there was no sun on the deck for me to sit in, so I took a nap.

CB and I went to see "Bridesmaids". I have 3 words: Hi. Lair. Eee. Ous. Guess that's 4 words. Bad language. Poop jokes. Puking. Puppies. Funny sex. All the makings of a great movie, right there. Even CB laughed. We laughed as we were leaving the theatre. We laughed on the way home. And, it's true, I woke him up to tell him something funny I remembered. (I am such a joy to be married to. I mean that.)

Here's the picture of the day. I love Winnie the Pooh. I can sing many of his songs, such as "I'm Just a Little Black Rain Cloud", "I'm Winnie the Pooh" and "A Tiggers a Wonderful Thing". I am available for weddings, funerals and bar mitzvahs for a reasonable fee.

June 3, 2011 Translating Chinese

CB's fortune cookie at supper tonight said "Now if the time for peace in your life. Go along with other's ideas."

I was more than happy to translate this for him.

"Now is the time to listen to what your wife wants to do in every circumstance. For when you do that, it is likely she will shut up and there will be peace."

He was grateful for my translation services.

Happy to do it.

June 2, 2011 Noah on Speed Dial

Lots of rain last night.

Over 3 inches in the rain gauge this morning.

Floods. Flooding. Flooded.

This is the Kansas River in Wamego.

My house is probably at the highest point in town.

I will not, therefore, be building an ark.

I may, however, start blowing up the inflatable rafts.

Like keeping a condom in your wallet, you can't be too careful.

June 1, 2011 Hale Library

First of all, this begins the sixth month of my blog. Did you hear that? The sixth month!!!! I've done something for 6 months. Without quitting. Just like being pregnant. But without the sex. Trust me. With. Out. The. Sex.

I had a meeting in Eisenhower Hall at 3:00 this afternoon. While I was walking there, the sky was really dark. Not like in the picture where it looks pretty and blue!

The sky was so dark that the lights were on outside of Hale Library. Even though it was going to cut loose raining any minute, I stopped and took a picture.

True story, as I was leaving the meeting, I was on the phone with CB. We were laughing about me getting lost the last time (last week) I walked from Eisenhower to the Union. I'll be go to hell if I didn't do it again. I was just talking away and all of sudden I said "SHIT! I took a wrong turn. Where the hell am I?" CB was laughing his ass off.

Instead of wandering in the wilderness, I turned around, found the turn I missed and arrived at the parking garage safe and sound.

(For those of you keeping track, it was after 5 and I didn't have to go back to my office.)