April 7, 2011 Post Number 100!!!!

I've been at this for 100 days! WOOO-HOOO!!!! It's been fun.

This is what I want for my birthday. It's a game called "Name 5". You have 30 seconds to name 5 of something - like 5 Tom Hanks movies, 5 child starts, 5 animals from the movies, etc.

I cut it out of a catalog and put it on the bar in the kitchen. I also mentioned it to both Luke and Curtis. So, I'm hopeful and as we know, hope springs eternal.

I was at a dinner last night and someone mentioned "HineyHiders" as the name of the locks on the stall doors in the ladies' rooms. Made me smile because I knew exactly what they were talking about. And I had documented it for all the world to see.

Well, most of the world.

Sort of.

April 6, 2011 My Smile and my Bladder

I went to the dentist this morning. It was my first time with this particular dentist so everything was new and interesting.

Once I got in the chair, my camera was too far away so I didn't get a shot of the TV mounted on the wall which I could watch while waiting (that actually begs the question of how long am I expected to wait? Or, if there is something good on TV, can I stay until the show is over?).

I suppose it would be a bad sign if, let's say, I go in to see the dentist, and he puts "Gone with the Wind" on the DVD player.

Naturally, after being in a situation where I couldn't get up and go to the loo, I had to go when I was released from said chair. Had. To. GO. The bathroom in this dentist office is nicer than mine at home. That shouldn't be, should it? The color, the art, the "hoist my fat ass off the toilet" bar, all of it was perfect.

However, I have often wondered about the necessity of an easy chair in the bathroom. Who sits in that chair? Honestly. Who?

I would not be questioning the presence of this chair if there were a television mounted in corner.

I checked.

There isn't.

April 5, 2011 Satellite Office of my OB/GYN?

On the floor of the ladies room in the Union was this: While it looks like a bunch of condoms, it is really an examination glove. Why? Why was it on the floor of the ladies room? In the Student Union?

Could it be that my OB/GYN decided to open an annex, performing pap smears while we wait for an open stall? Is this the next greatest idea? Is this what ObamaCare is all about? (Ignore that question, I am all about national health care and admire President Obama for what he has accomplished and am pissed at what the repuglicans have destroyed.)

I want to know what, exactly was being examined and by whom. I'm just curious that way.

Hell no I did not touch it. You crazy?

While doing the dishes, I saw this out my kitchen window. I love Kansas. We have the best sunsets in the universe. The. Best.

April 4, 2011 Absent From Work

I didn't go to the office to work today. I did, however, work.

New rule for the kitchen drawers: if it's sharp and can cut off unsuspecting fingers, it goes in the left drawer.

If it's for baking, measuring or peeling, it goes in the right drawer.

If you cut off a finger in the left drawer, you have been warned.

Bandaids are in the downstairs bathroom. Please don't bleed on the floor.

Then, because Curtis went back to work today and will no longer be around to do the laundry, I got it all done and discovered that it's true, the laundry room has a floor!

Who knew?

April 3, 2011 This is what Sundays are for....

I slept late.

Woke up, read a book, went back to sleep, got up for good long after Curtis had left for the golf course.

Probably would still be in bed except that I spent the afternoon with Matthew McConaughey in Manhattan. (If you haven't seen "The Lincoln Lawyer", you should. Matthew McConaughey is a hottie. Hot. Eee.)

By the way, at the movie, there were 12 people in the theatre. AND SOMEONE SAT ONE SEAT AWAY FROM ME. WTF? I think they wanted me to share my popcorn but, as we all know, there are only a few things I won't share and one of them is my popcorn. The others? Another story for another time.

Got home from the movie and paid bills. Contemplated suicide but was too lazy.

Read a book. CB came home from the golf course and asked if I wanted to help with the yard work in front. Actually, he didn't say "help", he said "let's do the yard work in the front". Subtle difference.

While he was getting organized, I put out new mini solar lights along the sidewalk. Got them on sale yesterday at Menard's. We'll see how they work. After I was done with my little project, I supervised CB in the trimming of the shrubs along the front porch. He's only done this twice a year for 7 years, but, still, I wasn't sure he knew exactly what was expected. After all, he's a man.
Then, I went into the garage and saw the west window covered with those god damn Asian beetles that look like ladybugs but are. not. lady. bugs.


These little bastards stink when you smush them and travel in hoards. Frickin' hoards. I bet there were 10 million on my window. At least. No exaggeration. At all.



Now, CB is going to take me out to dinner. What a guy.


The things he does to keep himself on the golf course.

April 2, 2011 Shopping, Shopping, Shopping

So, Mom and I were going to go to the Menard's store in Manhattan this morning.

Mom changed her mind yesterday.

Luke and I decided to go to breakfast (Thanks, Bob's Diner!) and tootle around Menard's to see what the fuss is all about.

We discovered what the fuss is all about.

It's about this big, honkin' wrench. It is seriously big. And costs $159. Where would you even store a wrench this size?

And frankly? If a pipe that needs this wrench breaks, I'm either swimming or grabbing a canoe!



Went by Mom's when we got back to Wamego.

Mom was not surprised to see me because she had left a message on my home answering machine (while Luke and I were in Manhattan) saying that she had changed her mind back and wanted to go after all.

Luke took my first load of Menard's merchandise home and Mom and I took off for Manhattan.

Shopping with your mother is different than shopping with your son. It's way more fun! Mom and I wandered around that store for over an hour.

Best part for me was finding the stove that I am going to get for my birthday.



Even if I have to buy the damn thing myself!

April 1, 2011 Luke and his Nana

Luke and I stopped by to see my mom. He was able to put a new battery in her smoke detector without a step stool and she commented that she could remember when he was a little guy. Luke then stood next to her and demonstrated just how far he'd come from being a "little guy"! Then Mom gave Luke a hug and cracked up because she couldn't reach around him! Doesn't this look like Luke is hugging himself and he has lady hands?