May 31, 2011 Fun and Games with CB

It was a beautful evening tonight so CB and I sat on the deck and played "BananaGrams". It's a fun word game. I'm pretty good at it. CB kind of struggles.

Here's what he came up with during one of the "hands":
"Whore"? "Rick"? "Kilz"? I was laughing as I read them.

Then there was my "hand":

Oh yeah, that's right "contrite", "visa", "butte".

CB's parting words to me as he headed to the basement: "We are finding a new game."

I bet it has more to do with numbers than it does with letters.

I'm screwed.

May 30, 3011 Summer Starts!

Who knew it would be so hard to get a picture of the flags along the Kansas River Bridge? A couple of times a year I find myself feeling a bit patriotic. Memorial Day is one of those days.

I'm not wrapping myself in the American flag in support of a ridiculous war (Thank You, George Bush, you no good, right wing, bible thumping war monger. Not to put too fine a point on it.), but instead I appreciate the sacrifices of those who really protected this country when there was a legitimate threat to our way of life. Like my dad and others of the Greatest Generation.

On to more important things: part 2 of Knock You On Your Ass Slush. Here is it after 24 hours.

I stirred it up and it became the most wonderful slush.

It tasted great! Summer has arrived.

Nap time arrived shortly after my taste test!

May 29, 2011 Recipe to Make You Smile

Let's make a drink that will change your life, shall we? This wonderful summer concoction cools you down no matter the temperature or the number of assholes you've dealt with in any given day.

I make this and keep it in the deep freeze in the garage. There are days when I don't even make it into the house before I have a bit to take the edge off. I am not even joking.

Here are the ingredients you'll need:
2 large cans of lemonade, limeade or orange juice or any combination thereof
1 cup of sugar (I use Splenda)
3 cups of strong tea
1 1/2 cups of vodka or bourbon
5 cups of water

Mix it all together in a large container with a lid.

Put it in the freezer and stir occasionally.

Because of the alcohol content, it won't freeze solid, it will just slush up.

In about 24 hours, it will be "done" and you just scoop some into a glass and eat it/drink it like a slush.

It's hard to taste the alcohol, so beware. This does knock you on your ass.

May 28, 2011 Summer Blooms

I love peonies. They remind me of the house I grew up in. We would cut them and make huge "bridal" bouquets for the weddings, sans grooms, in the back yard.

Just a few years ago, I thought it would be a good idea to plant peonies around a small concrete patio in our backyard. I had no idea that you had to plant a tuber (tubar? tubur?) and it would be a year or so before you had flowers.

I planted about 9 or 10 tubers and all but one have grown into lovely peony bushes. The one that is not growing so well is going to get several Miracle Grow treatments to encourage it along.

This year, they are just in time for Memorial Day.

May 27, 2011 How Much is that Doggie in the....

I got home from work on Friday and, like every other Friday, I pulled my car into the garage, pushed the button to lower the door, turned off my engine and got out of my car.

Nothing exciting. Nothing unusual.

Something caught the corner of my eye, though, and made me jump. There was some kind of animal in the garage. Bigger than a mouse or a bunny.

Big like a baby cougar or tiger. Except black.

Every time I got close enough, it would dart away. Of course I had my camera out, why do you ask?

Then, it stopped and just looked at me.

It was a little dog. Not even a very ferocious one at that.

His tail was wagging so hard and so fast that I should have put him to work sweeping the garage. Oh, is it wrong that I know it's a "he"?

Found out he belongs to the new neighbors south of us. His name is Micky and he ran into the garage as I was driving in. Just wanted to be friends, I guess.

Buddy, on the other hand, is not amused.

May 26, 2011 It's Lonely at the Top

I always park in the same general location in the KSU parking garage.

I do this for several reasons, but mostly because I can't frickin' remember where I park unless I park in the same spot.

Remember the time I parked in the lot south of the Union and rode the shuttle to the Foundation Building and couldn't find my car and thought it was stolen? No? Well, trust me, there is much less drama when I just do the same thing over and over.

Even though there were hundreds of parking spots throughout the garage, I made my way to the top floor in search of my regular parking spot.

I found it with little trouble.

It was like having my own personal parking lot.

Frankly, I'd rather have a raise.

May 25, 2011 Blue Sky

This is the sky at noon today. The blue sky is making an effort to show itself, but it didn't last! I'm tired of the rain and weary of saying "Oh, we need the moisture."

I don't have a picture of this, because I didn't have my camera with me, but I got lost on campus this morning.

Oh. Yes. I. Did.

I had a meeting in Eisenhower Hall. I found it just fine, thank you very much.

When I left, I got turned around some how. I think it was because it was raining and I was trying to get my umbrella open and not looking where I was going. It also could have been that I didn't see a step and very nearly took a nose dive (now that would have been a picture of the day) while leaving the building.

Anyway, off I went in the general direction of the Union. Well, I thought it was in the general direction of the Union.

Pretty soon, I discovered that I was in an alley with no sidewalks and nothing looked familiar. All I could see were the backs of buildings.

It was raining.

Hard.

I was getting wet.

I had on my new shoes.

The situation was desperate.

Not that desperate, I guess. I was still on campus. How lost could I be?

I kept walking and walking.

I was getting wet which is what happens when you decide NOT to put your slicker on and carry it instead.

I don't know why.

Finally, after wandering in the wilderness for nearly an hour, I spied Ahearn Field House. I was nearly home. Good thing, too, because I had to go to the bathroom. Badly. But, I was already wet, so it might not have made any difference....

Since I don't let the facts get in the way of a good story, it might have been more like 10 minutes instead of an hour.

May 24, 2011 Weather

There I was, sitting at my desk, minding my own business (it's true) at about 10:30 a.m. My next door neighbor popped her head in and told me to raise my window blind and take a look outside.

It was black as night. Literally. I can't remember the last time I saw the sky so black in the middle of the day.

Naturally, people were getting a bit nervous and there were those who wished they had participated in the tornado drills as opposed to sending a representative from our office. Who, by the way, is on vacation this week.

Not me. Not the girl from Southwest Kansas! I laugh at bad weather. Well, not laugh actually, but I do grab my camera to get a picture for my blog.

Here's the problem with both pictures (the top one did not have a flash, the bottom one did) is that they don't really show how dark the day was. The sky looks a bit gray. It was not gray. It was black. I could barely make out the building across the street east of the Union. (What's the name of that building anyway? I've only been at K State for 9 years and can not be expected to learn the names of buildings I never visit. Right? RIGHT?)

So, if you wouldn't mind, go get your sunglasses, turn out the lights in the room you are in or take your laptop into the closet, then look at the photos.

Yep. It was that dark.

Kinda cool.

Didn't last.

No trips to the basement. But, the Union Recreation Center is in the basement as is the Subway. I could have bowled, played pool, had a sandwich, had a beer.

Crap. No trip to the basement.

May 23, 2011 Why I Love Luke Living at Home

If I had to list all the reasons why I love having Luke living at home, it would take hours, days, months. I could start a blog called "Why I Love Having My Son Living at Home" - there would be a new entry every day.

Here are a few: he carries in the groceries; he empties the dishwasher; he laughs at my jokes; he doubles the number of Democrats on the block (in the county, actually); he is always up for a road trip.

Today, he asked about my old bread machine. A bread machine that he, in fact, gave me for Mother's Day probably 15 years ago.

We found it with little effort and Luke baked a loaf of bread! He measured everything very carefully and put each ingredient in a small plastic dish so he could dump them all together when the time came. As a result, it looked like he used every dish in the house!

When Luke was in about 4th grade and we lived in Liberal, we had a bread machine on loan from a friend. Everyday when Luke got home from school, he would call me and with just a little help from me (by phone) he'd get a loaf of bread going in time for supper.

There was always such a sense of accomplishment when the buzzer buzzed and we had warm bread.

Nothing has changed since then.

The bread smells great.

The bread tastes great.

My son did all the work.

And the dishes.

What shall I teach him next?

May 22, 2011 Happy Anniversary, CB

Seven years ago, CB and I got married.

What a fun ride it's been. We agreed that we'd do it all over again if we had the chance.

That's a pretty good test of a marriage, don't you think?

Tonight, CB, Luke and I went to Olive Garden for dinner. We ate and ate and laughed and talked and had an all around good time.

I tried sangria for the first time (no cranberry margaritas were on the menu) and we all had desserts as well.

Glad that we had an event to celebrate. Glad that the event was our anniversary.

May 21, 2011 Fun Day!

Curtis and I made a list of the fun things we wanted to do before leaving Kansas City. First, we went to breakfast and on the way we saw these geese with their babies walking across the street. Curtis is such a good sport - - he drove around so the geese would be on my side of the car so I could take a better picture!


Second, I went to Archiver's because Cindy's mom got me a gift card there for my birthday. Cindy and I used to go to Archiver's to "make and take" craft classes. We always had such a great time. It was a little sad to go there without her - and they were having a class in the back and I could hear ladies laughing just like Cindy and I used to. I missed her a bit more while wandering around the store.

Third, we went to the City Market. While walking to the actual market, we walked by this office. There was a purple cowboy boot hanging from the flag poll. A purple cowboy boot. Made me pause and go "hmmmmm".

At City Market, be bought a ton of fruit: strawberries, bananas, cantaloupe and grapes. Yummy. And cheap.

After Kansas City, we drove to Topeka and played 2 rounds of Putt Putt. If I told you that I beat CB, would you believe me? I didn't think so, so I'll save my breath.

The weekend started with a cranberry margarita so it was only fitting that it ended with one! Cranberry + tequila = match made in heaven.

P.S. My small boobs are 3 years old today!

May 20, 2011 Baseball

Following a day of rain on and off all day long, sometimes raining cats and dogs, the sun came out in time for the first game of the I-70 Series. The night was beautiful with a nice breeze blowing.
We had great seats, on the third base line. Only 2 other people were in our row which was really nice. Usually, CB and I arrive in time for the first pitch but don't have time to wander around the stadium. Kauffman Stadium has been renovated and now has a neat Hall of Fame. We walked through it and it was pretty interesting.

This is a view of the field from the Hall of Fame. I was standing in a retro radio announcer's booth.

This is Albert Pujols who plays for the Cardinals. He is a great hitter - although he didn't live up to his reputation tonight. I just looked at the picture and it looks like he is checking his zipper, doesn't it? Those baseball players and their crotches. If they didn't have balls, what would they do with their hands in between plays and innings?

This is what the scoreboard looked like when Albert Pujols was up to bat. There is so much information on the scoreboard that it takes a little while to figure it out.

The Cards lost 3-0.

On the way home, CB took a wrong turn and we got lost. However, we got found pretty quickly and made it back to the hotel in fine shape.

Best part of the day? Stopping at Krispy Kreme and getting donuts. My idea of heaven. I could eat my weight in Krispy Kreme donuts and I think I shall try that some day.

When we were there, the donuts were warm. Warm Krispy Kreme donuts. It doesn't get any better than that.

I will not tell you how many I ate.

Six.

May 19, 2011 Kansas City

CB and I are in Kansas City for a couple of days. See how I called it Kansas City and not Johnson County? I never did understand referring to an area by "county". That is bullshit. I have never once said "Oh, I'm from Ford County."

Anyway, we are staying at the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Lenexa where my CLE seminar is tomorrow. CB plans to hit the golf course and meet back up with me in time for the Royals-Cards game.

This is the view from our window. We could (and did) watch the weather and the traffic. So easily entertained, CB and me.
I thought this was a fun picture of CB. He was just standing at the window watching the world go by.

The hotel room was pretty nice. It was on the top (4th) floor in an area called the "Quiet Zone". Good god. I have gotten old. When did that happen?

It had a King size sleep number bed (which was fun...soft then hard, soft then hard. And I fooled around with the bed control too.).

When we arrived, there was a beautiful gauzey pouch which contained a sleep mask, ear plugs and lavendar linen mist. Wasn't that sophisticated?

Oh, one other thing. On the way to Kansas City we stopped in Topeka at ate at the Longhorn restaurant. I discovered cranberry margaritas. My life is changed forever. For. Ever.

My two favorite flavors cranberry and tequila combined into one drink.

Oh. Yeah.

Momma was happy.

May 19, 2011 Bullshit Bumper Stickers

Do the idiots who write these bumper stickers have any working brain cells? No, they do not.

If you want proof, watch Fox News. Or read this bumper sticker.

It says on the left: "RE-ELECT"

On the right, it says: "VOTEM ALLOUT"
Seriously, who names their child "Votem"? And what kind of surname is "Allout"?

Votem Allout.

A name that will get your ass kicked on the playground.


NOTE: CB and I are headed to Kansas City for a couple of days. I have a conference tomorrow and we'll be home Saturday evening. I'll update on Sunday. Check back!

May 18, 2011 Let's Eat Out!

Luke thought we were going out to lunch because he was done with finals and out of school for 3 weeks.

I thought we were going out to lunch because 26 years ago this very day I graduated from law school.

What an accomplishment. A single mother. Living in the ghetto of Topeka. Working 2 jobs. Luke was 8 months old when I started and almost 4 when I was done. His name should have been on my diploma as well....he often went to sleep listening to me read from my Contracts text, or Property, or Evidence. Yeah. What an accomplishment.

Anyway, we were at lunch at the Hillside Cafe. (Best Mexican food in Manhattan) There was a little boy, maybe 3 years old, who was not having any fun sitting at lunch with his mom and grandma. Mom gave him her digital camera (WTF?) and he started taking pictures of Luke and I.

We were laughing at him and he was laughing at us. Then I got out my digital camera and started taking pictures, just to make the flash go off. He seemed to really like that. Later, when I looked at my pictures, this one was the best. The rest were of the floor.

It reminded me of Luke on this day in 1985 - full of laughter. He didn't know what was going on with all the people around, but he knew his mom was really smiling and his Papa Judge was really smiling, so it had to be good.

And it was.

May 17, 2011 Watch Dog.

Buddy is a great watch dog. However, this is not his watch dog position.

Because:

If he sees a cat, he goes batshit crazy.

If he sees the mailman, he goes batshit crazy.

If he sees a squirrel, he goes batshit crazy.

If someone comes to the door, he goes batshit crazy.

He spends most of his time batshit crazy.

This evening although he was certainly watching something, was calm and surveying his estate.

Wondering what's for dinner. It smelled really good.

May 16, 2011 Run Fast. Jump High.

Oh. My. God. Please, please, please ignore my Hillary Clinton cankles. Honestly, I don't think my ankles are the same size as my knees, but, shit, this picture does them (my ankles, I mean) NO favors.

These are my new shoes. They are amazing. They are purple.

When I was a little girl, we got our shoes at the JC Penney store in downtown Dodge City. On the sidewalk outside the store was a metal trap door that went to the basement of the store. It would open and an elevator sort of thing would bring the trash up to the street level.

I knew I had a good pair of shoes if I could go on the sidewalk and jump over that metal trap door. It was closed, of course. But, there was something about leaping over something that I perceived to be huge!

I will not be trying to jump over anything in these shoes - at this age....but they are pretty good shoes.

And they are purple.

May 15, 2011 Something Famous, I Think

I'm not trying to be funny (for a change), but I am not sure exactly what was happening in Manhattan this weekend.

I know it was something about some kind of food truck race across the country for the Food Network or the cooking channel or something else I don't watch.

Loads of rumors going around about the trucks and where they would be. Someone on facebook waited for over 2 hours to get a grill cheese slider from this Roxy truck. That had to be one good grilled cheese slider, if you ask me.

Anyhow, Luke and I made a quick trip to Hy-Vee today and these guys were filming in the parking lot for about 2 minutes.

The real picture of the day should be my grocery receipt showing that I saved over $30 using coupons. WOOO-HOOO! Not exactly Extreme Couponing, but it's better than paying full price.

My best buys were: 2 cases of Pepsi for $3.99 each, 4 bottles of Old Spice body wash for $1.89 each and Weight Watchers frozen entrees for $1.60 each.

The only thing I like better than saving money is spending it.

May 14, 2011 My Idea of Foreplay.

Nothing gets me goin' like a man in the kitchen.

Curtis put a roast in the oven mid-afternoon and it cooked for several hours, smelling up the house and making me so happy that the boy knows how to use a roasting pan.

Luke and I went to Topeka and got goodies for my upcoming trip and new trainers. They fit like a dream and my feet were smiling! Can't wait to take them for a spin on the treadmill.

In the interest of full disclosure, CB's presence in the kitchen has to be more than wandering through on the way for another beer to count as foreplay. Just so you know.

May 13, 2011 Friday the 13th

I got to be in Topeka today on a top secret mission with a top secret friend. I'd like to tell you why, but I can't. Because it's a secret. A top secret. Oh yes, I'm important.

After the top secret meeting, my top secret friend and I went to lunch at the Kansan Grill on Kansas Avenue. It was wonderful.

In the front window was this arrangement of sunflowers and 5 pots growing rosemary. It smelled so good.

The walls were full of pictures of famous Kansans which was fun. The menu was full of items like "The Secretary of State steak" or the "Assistant AG burger".

Since the legislature wrapped up late last night (thank god. Those bastards can do more harm than any group of people who ever worked under one roof. With the exception of today's congress, I suppose.). When they are not in session, I rest a little easier at night.

However, when I wake up, Sam Brownback is still governor.

That makes me cry.

It's like Friday the 13th every. Single. Day.

May 12, 2011 Lost

This is where my Smart phone should be. If it weren't lost.

I think I left it at my office.

But I can't be sure until Monday since I am not working on Friday.

Frankly, I can live without it.

It does have good games that help pass the time while waiting for doctors, dentists, judges, etc.

My ring tone (the theme from "Gunsmoke") is kind of cool.

However, as a phone, it sucks.

And it's lost.

May 10, 2011 Another Bathroom Photo

This toilet paper dispenser made me laugh for 2 reasons.

First, Kimberly Clark is my sister's name. It cracks me up with I see her name in a bathroom. Not sure why, but it does. Kimberly Clark = toilet paper. She could be elected God and Kimberly Clark would still = toilet paper.

Second, it's the word "professional" on this toilet paper dispenser. Is the TP for professionals only? If so, what do non-professionals use? Or, is this a professional dispenser, i.e. it gets paid to dispense toilet paper. If that's the case, how much do they get paid?

Would my sister get paid more because of the same name thing?

May 9, 2011 Man vs. Food: Manhattan Style

Today Curtis and I went to lunch at a burger place that we'd heard about but never tried. Curtis suggested that we try Big D's Burger Shack on Fort Riley Blvd., so we did.

We looked at the menu and made our choices. I heard CB say that he'd have a "Cowboy" (pause for gay jokes....) but I didn't give any thought to just what kind of hamburger that would be. Shortly after he ordered, a woman who was there with her family said "If you eat the whole thing, you get to sign the wall."

Then I started looking around and saw the wall full of signatures of people who were able to eat the 1 pound cheeseburger. Curtis started looking a little nervous.

Here's the "Cowboy" in all it's glory. Three one-third beef patties, cheese, lettuce, tomato, onions on Texas toast. Beer battered french fries (to die for) are there too.

Curtis took a deep breath and got started.

About half way through the mega-burger, Big D came out to see how CB was doing. Seems that Big D retired from the fire department and decided to open this burger shack. I'm glad he did!


And he ate the whole thing.

In our never ending search for the perfect cheeseburger, we have a new contender.

May 8, 2011 Happy Mother's Day!

My mom (right) and Curtis's mom (left) were the guests of honor this noon for Mother's Day. (Note: my mom did not get her rain barrel yet, so don't tell her.)

Curtis's brothers and sister were here as well. We had a cook out and loads of great food.

I have a recipe for a Napa Lettuce Salad which is wonderful. It makes a buttload, so I usually save it for when we have company. Last night, I made the dressing and the "crunchies" (sunflower seeds, almonds and Ramen noodles browned in butter). However, this morning when I got the lettuce out of the fridge, it was covered with brown spots. Every single leaf was covered.

CB was in the shower, so I took the head of lettuce to the bathroom, stuck it in the shower and asked him what he thought. Poor guy. He was a little surprised. But, he's been married to me for 7 years, he should be prepared for anything.

Loads of leftovers means that lunch packing this week will be a breeze.

A nap after everyone left was my dessert!

May 7, 2011 A Clean House is a Wonderful Thing

Because the Barr family is coming for lunch tomorrow, and because we are having an appraisal done on Monday, the house got cleaned today.

I don't mean "cleaned" as in a quick going over and a promise to do better next time.

I mean "cleaned" as in you could eat off the floor, drink out of the toilets, use a white glove on any surface.

Pictures got hung that have been leaning against walls for years. Literally. I even took vent grates off and cleaned them. Curtis took two fans apart and we dusted the blades. (Although, I think that last one was just a reason to spend some time outside!)

The drawback is that I can't find a damn thing.

May 6, 2011 Poison Ivy

CB's been to the doctor. I've been itching like crazy. But, we both agreed that we hadn't been around poison ivy. Skin rashes to the contrary.

But, today, I went, very carefully, to the scene of the exposure. There, popping its ugly head through the rock wall, were 3 little sprigs of poison ivy.

DAMN IT.

My arms look like I've been attacked by an ice pick. I have a place on my neck that looks like a hickey - oh, those were the days - and itches, too. Guess when Curtis asks me to help tear out wild grapevine, I should run screaming from the room.

Remember, "leaves of three, let it be".

If you are now singing "Poison Ivy", that's just another service I provide.

May 5, 2011 Satan is Alive and Well

Satan is alive and well and has his (her?) car registered in Johnson County. Of course.

Glad I don't buy into the whole Satan bull-shit. But, if I did, then I am certain he/she would live in Johnson County.

I bet if Satan was real, he'd (she'd?) be pissed that most of us have become immune to all the evil in the world that is being done under the guise of government and religion.

Satan no longer has the corner on the badness market. He/She's got loads of right wing ministers, gay bashers, Congressmen right there with him.

And only some of them are from Johnson County.

May 4, 2011 If You Are My Mom, Don't Read This.

Mother's Day is just around the corner so that means that the 3 Smith children decide on a gift for our mom. This year, she said that she wanted a rain barrel so she could gather water and use it to water her plants.

My mom. Such a tree hugger.

The best part of shopping for the siblings? Donie always pays more than his one third. Guess he figures Kim and I do the heavy lifting on a day to day basis.

He's right.

May 3, 2011 Another Bathroom Sign

This is the men's room at city court.

Don't ask.

Doesn't this "Caution: Wet Floor" sign above the urinal make you wonder exactly what is the nature of the wetness on the floor?

My experience with men is that they think if they pee in the general vicinity of the toilet/urinal/tree, then that's good enough.

If the wetness is water....oh who are we kidding, the wetness is NOT water. It's pee.

I just want to go on record as saying that this sign is the reason why you should never, ever, ever, under any circumstances go into a men's bathroom barefoot.

Maybe this isn't that time or place to bring this up, but what's up with the pink urinal block?

First, shouldn't it be blue?

Second, isn't it really just a target?

Do I need to mention the smell?

Didn't think so.

May 2, 2011 What's Up with this Weather?

I got an email.

It was on the radio.

It was on the news.

It was in the newspaper.

Bring your plants inside because it's going to freeze tonight.

WTF? Seriously?

What the hell?

This, by the way, is the planter I got from my mom for my birthday. Isn't it pretty?

Luke carried it in so it would be nice and toasty tonight.

I hope this doesn't become a habit or I'll have to break the news to Ryan that he's going to have to share a room with the new planter!

May 1, 2011 Paula Deen Failure

I baked Paula Deen's cheesey garlic biscuits and they were not great.

My mouth was set for something like Red Lobster's better than sex biscuits, but Paula Deen's recipe didn't even come close.

They are tasteless and not worth the trouble.

They sure look good though, don't they?